As I read your written word, I will listen to the voice beneath it. As I listen to your voice, I will see the world through your eyes. As I look through those eyes, I will feel the soul that experienced it. As I touch your soul, I will love a beautiful you.
9/1/12, you wrote:
Pondering my past behaviors, I’ve done myself no great favors.
The past six years I’ve lived to die, shielded from reality and didn’t know why.
Recognizing the failure to control my using, family relationships I began losing.
I realized then that somethings gotta give, becoming abstinent increases my purpose to live.
Now I’m proud to be three months clean, In my mind a bright new future can now be seen.
I’m so grateful for such great family and friends, working my steps I will soon make amends.
I daily read the Big Book thanks to Dr. Bob and Bill, I see the hope in my recovery and follow in God’s will.
Life is but a journey which we can choose to embrace or deny. In life’s gallery, I will look for the good in all things and cherish every brushstroke made by the Master artist’s hand. Beauty is everywhere, in everything and in everyone around us…dare to seek it, the canvas is ready for viewing.
Dad handed me the carefully folded, familiar lined paper to which I have come to anticipate and treasure. Snatching it from his hand, I quietly settle into my favorite chair and begin envisioning the world of the writer behind those beautifully penciled words that now rest on the page before me. It reads:
“Daily bombarded by my darkest obsession, without it I spiral into deadly depression. Temptations surround me to attack when I’m weak, convincing me drugs provide the love that I seek. Roped in by the Devil my life was consumed, deceptively blinded feeling hopelessly doomed. With no sense of direction or intention to quit, I found myself unable to climb out of this pit. Through support of my family to treatment I went, cautious and nervous to grab the hand that was lent. It was there I was told if I don’t cease to be done, the next stage was death to a life which I only get one. Through fear and humility I took a good inward look, devastated and embarrassed of the actions in which I partook. My newly found knowledge helped me turn things around, I thank God for the happiness in sobriety I’ve found.”
It is through words like these that I reflect back to a precious little girl, with a twinkle in her eye, whose thoughts and words were beyond her years even as a child. One might consider that a curse, but I think it a blessing for the tapestry of life is threaded in many directions before the Master artist lays down the final stitch.